For the last 3 nights Sophia goes to bed at about 2am-3am, gets up at 7am-8am, goes back down till about noon, then naps till around 3. I think she's getting her days and nights mixed up and I don't know how to fix it. It's really tough to stay up all day with her and then all night on and off too. She's been really whiny too, no fevers, no swollen gums I just don't know anymore.
To top it all off, when I got up today everything was fine. I did the dishes, and started cleaning the house while she napped. Travis got some time to himself to do whatever he wanted and I got a clean house (mostly clean anyway). When he left for work, I stuck Sophia in front of the TV for some SpongeBob and I jumped in the shower. After I got myself dressed and everything I started feeling... funny. So I decided to sit down-- and BOOM! Instant panic attack. I went into hysterics like only once before. Then Sophia had a meltdown because she could sense I wasn't ok but I literally couldn't pry myself up to get her I was crying and panicking so hard I could move so here we both sat bawling like never before. I tried to call my dad for some help (he lives the closest) but I got no answer so like in a car crash, I threw the wheel and just sat there bawling, hyperventilating and just listening to Sophia cry.... which in turn only made it worse. I finally got myself to stop hyperventilating and crawled over to her and just held her while we both cried..... real tears.
I don't know what happened. My brain is riddled with unpleasant images and thoughts. We're both okay now. Exhausted but okay... that was terrible.
I'm having a hard time lately trying to figure out things for dinner. I can't grocery shop because I don't know what to buy.
What a nasty day.
Manly Task #45
3 years ago