Saturday, January 31, 2009

sleepless nights, panic attacks and what to make for dinner

For the last 3 nights Sophia goes to bed at about 2am-3am, gets up at 7am-8am, goes back down till about noon, then naps till around 3. I think she's getting her days and nights mixed up and I don't know how to fix it. It's really tough to stay up all day with her and then all night on and off too. She's been really whiny too, no fevers, no swollen gums I just don't know anymore.

To top it all off, when I got up today everything was fine. I did the dishes, and started cleaning the house while she napped. Travis got some time to himself to do whatever he wanted and I got a clean house (mostly clean anyway). When he left for work, I stuck Sophia in front of the TV for some SpongeBob and I jumped in the shower. After I got myself dressed and everything I started feeling... funny. So I decided to sit down-- and BOOM! Instant panic attack. I went into hysterics like only once before. Then Sophia had a meltdown because she could sense I wasn't ok but I literally couldn't pry myself up to get her I was crying and panicking so hard I could move so here we both sat bawling like never before. I tried to call my dad for some help (he lives the closest) but I got no answer so like in a car crash, I threw the wheel and just sat there bawling, hyperventilating and just listening to Sophia cry.... which in turn only made it worse. I finally got myself to stop hyperventilating and crawled over to her and just held her while we both cried..... real tears.

I don't know what happened. My brain is riddled with unpleasant images and thoughts. We're both okay now. Exhausted but okay... that was terrible.

I'm having a hard time lately trying to figure out things for dinner. I can't grocery shop because I don't know what to buy.

What a nasty day.

1 comment:

  1. Hey there...I can't help on the panic attack front, although, I'm sure lack of sleep probably adds to it.
    As for dinner...some days when I can't figure what to do, I just throw some chicken breasts (which I always have on hand, and buys lots of when it' on sale), and either some chicken broth. It gives me the rest of the day to figure out what to do with it. If I want tacos, then I add tomatoes and some taco seasoning when I get home and shred the chicken. If we want chicken and noodles, then I add some cream of mushroom soup and cut carrots and make noodles. If I want BBQ chicken, then I drain the chicken, add BBQ sauce and a can of tomatoes and shred and have it on buns. So...anyways, if I make the chicken in the crock pot, then I can whip something up with it pretty quickly.
    Good Luck!