Our government

can suck it.

I was kicked off Medicaid after my 6 week check up with Sophia. After all the cancer crap I had to continue having tests done so I applied for a branch of Medicaid called Plan 1st. They told me I would be covered for all my labs, tests, birth control if I chose to use it etc. Well, I had my last cancer screening at the end of Feb and I just got a 400 dollar bill because Medicaid really doesn't cover it. On top of that I get a call from another doctors office today for $70. I explained to her that I have no income, no job and I'm not collecting unemployment anymore so I literally have nothing to give her and she got very testy with me because she wants that money. I immediately flipped the bitch switch and took my tone up a notch and re-explained to her that if I HAD the money I would pay her but I don't-- what does she expect me to do? She said... "even if you pay $5 a week we won't have to have this discussion." I got very testy at this I asked her where am I supposed to get $5 a week when I HAVE NO INCOME. It's not like I'm trying to cheat them out of any money it's the fact that I have no money to pay them!! Ridiculous.

So that was a bad start to my day. I went then to visit a kid I used to babysit as he is in the hospital. He was in an accident that gave him third degree burns on 40% of his body. When I got to the hospital I drove around it in circles literally 7 times because there is so much construction going on. When I finally parked and got to his room they told me he was in therapy and that I had to wait until 1:30... no biggy (my cousin went too) we went and sat in a waiting room. When we went back up his dad came out and said they were still doing therapy and he was having a rough time so we said we would go back another day. Poor T.
I got my car back. Come to find out I had to have a new tire and wheel put on. Great. I need to sell that hunk of junk.

On top of all the money crap I dealt with this morning it made me realize I NEED a job. Heaven forbid there's an emergency and something happens. Trav has some money saved up but I need him to keep saving so we can move and have money if something happens.
I guess I just feel like a deadbeat. I know I'm not but I feel like it a lot lately. I feel like I'm the only one that can't manage to find work (even though I know that's not the case), I beat myself up because I can't pay any bills let alone put gas in my car, I hate having to ask Trav for money because I feel like I should be pulling my own weight. I went to ManPower today and updated all my stuff there. The lady working told me I'll be at the top of the pile but unfortunately even they are low on work for unqualified people.

Fantastic.

Luckiest girl ever!

Here it is!! I got it back yesterday and now, after taking it back twice, it fits!! He picked it out all on his own and I think he did perfect. I will remember the night he proposed forever. I'm not your typical girl, I have not had my wedding planned since I was 4 and no, we still have not set a date or time or anything. We know we don't want a big wedding but a small one with parents and siblings probably and a big reception. I don't really care either way, I'm just excited and probably the happiest girl in the world.

On another note I'm selling my car. I can't afford to fix it but I'll take what I can get for it. If no one wants it I think I'll just scrap it. I won't get as much as I would like for it-- but I need something a little more reliable and less costly now that Sophia is here and we have many places to go.

No other updates yet!!

Just some laughs.

We took my ring to get it sized Friday, we got it back yesterday and it's still too big so I'm going to take it back tomorrow and hopefully they'll get it right. We both are pretty bummed but by the end of the week I'll have it on for good and it will fit.

I walked into a door. Left a pretty good bruise on my head.
Here's the story. Trav's mom has a hallway with a door way that goes down a pretty good set of stairs. Just recently she installed a door in that door way so her dog couldn't get downstairs to torture the cats and so Sophia couldn't fall down the stairs now that she's mobile. Well-- oddly enough (now that I'm thinking about it)-- getting a bit side tracked here-- Sophia hit her face on the door handle just after they installed the door, she had a nice bruise on her face for a couple days, like mother like daughter I suppose. Anyway, back to my noggin, we were walking up the stairs yesterday and the door was open. Well, when the door is open it doesn't open all the way to the wall it sticks out a couple of inches, I had my head turned talking to Travis on our way up and pop! Right into the door. It nailed me right where my ear connects to my head in the back and MAN!! That's a tender spot! I had a pretty good goose egg going back there and today I saw a decent sized bruise back there and it still hurts really bad. Ugh. I guess one bad thing in a week is nothing to complain about but holy cow- I can't get over how much it hurts.

Thought you'd like to have a laugh. But if it happens to you.... get ready to hurt for a few days.

Best week ever

Wow, it's been a bit- but we've been kind of busy.

For starters, Travis proposed!! I have no picture of the ring as we took it to get sized but it's gorgeous. For picking it out all on his own (because this was a complete surprise) he clearly knows me very well. We have not set a date or decided on any of the details but it will all work itself out in time.
I found the Puma sandals I've been looking for for the last 2 years and I just got them in the mail-- for those of you that don't know, I'm extremely picky about what goes on my feet and as basic as these are, I'm surprised they don't keep these sandals in stock.
Sophia is crawling!! It's amazing what she can accomplish in just one week. Crawling, trying to pull and push up on things, sitting herself up and getting down on her own... amazing.
My car is getting fixed..... maybe. Last I heard they didn't know if it was reparable. Anyone know where I can get a cheap, safe car?

Things are falling into place left and right and I couldn't be any happier.

A trip down the stairs.

Well a stair I should say.
I was walking with Sophia down our steps (mind you there are like 4 steps) and on the last one my ankle decided to go one way while the rest of me decided to go the other and both Sophia and I landed on the ground in tears. She is fine, I knew I was going down so my maternal instinct told me to hold her close so she would land on me... at least one of us had a soft landing. She started crying because it scared her and I started crying not only because of the pain but sheer frustration. I sat outside for about 5 minutes and tried to figure out how I was going to get up and into the house. I decided to whip my shoe at our window then just... get up and go. It didn't swell too bad and there's barely a bruise so I know it's not broken or fractured but it sure is swollen today. I've propped it up... no ice but it's not like I can stay off it, I have house work to do and Sophia to chase after. Besides, the more I'm on it walking and standing the better it feels, honestly. As soon as I sit down for a while (even driving) it gets throbbing sore so I think I'd rather deal with very swollen and not so sore vs unbearably sore and no swelling.

.... It just never ends I tell you. I think I'd rather have a slap in the face.

8 months and growing

Officially, 4 months from today (1:41pm) our little peanut will be 1 year old. Where has that time gone? Amazing. It seems like we brought her home a week ago.

I guess it's time to realize the things I want to do within the next year or so not only to benefit my life but the lives of Travis and Sophia too.
*I need a job. I've been busting my butt to put in applications everywhere- I'm just unqualified for the jobs, I fear it's going to be back to daycare. Great.
*I want to move. I know realistically it's not possible right now, which is why I'm doing what I can in this house, but as Sophia gets bigger so do toys, clothes, and all other accessories and we're just out growing this place super fast.
*I want to be married. Realistically- probably not necessarily in the next year because who knows when we would be able to afford a wedding and all that goes along with it but I want to be a family. Officially. I love Travis with all I have and even if we don't get married for the next 12 years, I don't plan on going anywhere but I crave that sense of unity. Couldn't tell you why. I just do.
*I want to be healthier. I'm still trying to loose the last bit of baby weight. I don't want to get to my pre-pregnancy weight I don't think I looked (or was) healthy by any means. We're going to have a mobile child soon and I need to be around to chase and care for her and her daddy as long as humanly possible.
*I want to rescue another pit. Porkchop is the best dog I've ever encountered and I feel like she needs some company. She has definitely lost a chunk of attention with Sophia being here and I think a boyfriend may be just what she needs. Someone that can keep up with her, snuggle with her (OFF our bed), and have enough energy at the end of the day for a rough game of tug-o-war before bed.
*Lastly, I want to find a way to prove to Travis how much I love him. I don't know how or what but I will find a way to prove to him that he IS my other half come what may and whether he likes it or not.

Ha! Who knew what 8 months would bring.

My Health is on the uprise.... finally!!

I got a call from my doctor two days ago telling me the results from my Pap- done when I had my last Colp a couple weeks ago. GOOD NEWS!! My body has completely fought off the HPV so my worries of cancer and down to 0!! My pap is still abnormal but the cells are A-Typical squamous which means they're abnormal but the least amount of abnormal they can be, however, they aren't sure if that's my body fighting off the last of the HPV or if it's something else. So---- Just to be sure it's not anything serious I have to go back in another 6 months to get checked out to see what's up. I'm feeling much better about this situation.

I can't stress enough how important it is to see an ob/gyn yearly. I know some of you out there have NEVER seen one and HPV can get you and you won't even know until it's too late.

Just do it.

Travis: 1, Heather: a slap in the face.

Last night we went to bed much like every other night. Brush our teeth, let the dog out, check the baby, retire fairly peacefully-- only last night there was a minor difference. Travis decided to be a cover hog, which I'm not down with, so I try to take my half of the covers back. HA! Amidst our little cover battle Travis decides to steamroll to one side of the bed taking all the covers with him so I latch on to my little corner of covers and end up in the steamroll too. As we're fighting over the covers I get this wretched slap in the face so I retreat. It stung! Travis, laughing hysterically, asks if that was my cheek because it was "squishy". I said that it was and he laughed even harder and replied "That was the back of the hand too! You just got bitch slapped!" Haha, very funny but THEN he says "that's the first time I've ever laid a hand on a woman." That was too much for me, I lost it and started laughing too, even though I half expected to wake up finding a hand print bruise on my face (which I didn't so that's good).

Just another night in our crazy household.