Sunday, February 22, 2009

Sleep Deprivation

Have you ever had a night of minimal sleep? Last night Sophia decided to wake at 3am for a feeding and just.... not go back to sleep. I tried letting her cry it out. I tried cuddling her. I tried to lay down with her. She would not have it, she just screamed. She took about an hour nap at 7am then was up till 1:30pm when we both finally crashed. However- with 2 hours of sleep I've realized a couple of things.
- I'm incredibly sleep deprived. Not just from last night but from the constant ups and downs with her.
- It's starting to ruin my health. I'm constantly tired, unmotivated, always have a headache and I'm getting pretty careless.
- I can't talk to people. Everything anyone says to me I get defensive and jump down their throat because I feel like I'm being attacked. Especially Travis (my mom too). I feel so bad for him. He will say something and I'll fly off the handle and immediately want to cry because I didn't mean to. I just feel like he has no idea what it's like.
- Even if I have the opportunity to sleep it's getting to the point where I can't. I'm constantly thinking of the things I wanted to get done but didn't. What I have to do the next day. What Sophia will be like when I have to get up with her for an early morning feeling.
I knew having a baby wouldn't always be a walk in the park but I just sort of feel like I fell into the river and am drowning.

I'm not myself anymore.

1 comment:

  1. Hey Heather,

    All parents go through this. You are not alone. Michele and I have both had nights/weeks that went like this so take a deep breath and remind yourself that you can only do what you can do. Stuff around the house will eventually get done. Take it in small strides and don't be afraid to ask for help. Maybe you could get a friend or a parent to come over and be w/ Sophia for an hour so you can get some work around the house done or if you are that deprived of sleep, to take a nap. Just make sure that you truly take advantage if someone does help. A while back we asked my mom to take Avery so we could get the house put back together, we just felt so behind and needed some undivided attention to the house. It ended up being about 2 hours but it was worth it's weight in gold. I hope this helps.

    Breath my friend, and take everything in small steps. You will succeed.